Trapped in a Tic'ing Time Bomb

My name is Sharnie. I'm 28, and I'm a mum to my gorgeous son, who was born through IVF. In 2023, I was diagnosed with Tourette's syndrome and OCD.

From a young age, I always felt different. My facial tics started when I was around seven. My family didn't realise anything was wrong at the time; they just thought it was a bad habit. Whenever I was told to stop making "silly faces," I'd get upset, and that only made me tic even more. I couldn't control my movements.

I also used to make sounds in the back of my throat, which particularly annoyed my dad during evening TV time!

As I got older, I noticed I wasn't fitting in well at school, and during my college years my tics started spiralling out of control. I went to a doctor's appointment with my mum, only to be told I was fine. The doctor said it was just a way of self-soothing, like someone having a cigarette or a glass of wine.

I didn't feel listened to. It felt like it was far easier for the doctor to say that than to refer me elsewhere for a proper diagnosis, almost like I was being pushed aside. But it absolutely didn't change the way I saw myself. I knew something still wasn't right.

So I learned to live with it. And then I found true love.

I married my husband, Matt, in 2022. My wedding day was a day full of ticcing. I remember having my false eyelashes put on and feeling super uncomfortable. They triggered my eye tics, and I remember thinking, how am I going to cope with these for the whole day? I was ticcing so much that I worried all my photos would be of me pulling funny faces. During the ceremony, I was mainly focused on trying not to tic. I knew all eyes were on me.

After that, I decided to go back to the doctor, and this time I was referred to neurology to talk about everything that had been going on. That's where I was finally diagnosed with Tourette's syndrome and OCD.

I felt so relieved to finally have a diagnosis, but also slightly frustrated. If the doctor had listened to me all those years back, I would have been diagnosed sooner, and that would have helped me so much through school and college.

The OCD stemmed from my childhood too. My mum remembers me lining up all my toys and washing my hands over and over until they were sore.

I've learned to live with my conditions, but they're still very challenging, especially now I'm a mum. On top of everything, I was diagnosed with hypermobility during my pregnancy, and with fibromyalgia last year. On the harder days, I feel physically exhausted. There's an endless list of jobs to do, like cooking, cleaning and washing, and I struggle to get it all done. Every day is a push to give my son the best, so he doesn't grow up seeing me in pain or discomfort.

I'm also very self-conscious in public. Strangers have never actually come up to me about my tics, but I'm paranoid about being judged. Because my tics are different, I worry that people are looking at me, and my anxiety has got a lot worse now that people want to come up and talk to me because they love my son.

But I have the best family and support around me. My husband is so supportive at home and helps me get things done when I'm struggling. My mum and dad are amazing too. They help out whenever I need them, even if it's just having my son for a couple of hours so I can get things done or rest. They make my life so much more comfortable and happier.

If you've ever been told your tics are "just a habit," I want you to know this: it's never just a habit. It's the way we're made, and we shouldn't be made to feel bad for the way we are. Sometimes it's not bad being different. Don't listen to people's negative comments, because it's none of their business why we are the way we are!